I told a friend that I am transgender. He said he doesn’t know anything about it but that it sounds great. I was taken aback. My girlfriend said the same thing, that my trans-ness is not a problem, that it is good. It doesn’t seem that simple.
Yes, realizing who I am is like standing under a waterfall in 120 degree heat, an overwhelming and unparalleled experience of joy, so epic, so wonderful; it brings me to tears. I love myself. But I miss humanity. I miss the simple pleasure of watching a movie and saying, “me too.” I miss meeting new people and really getting to know them. I feel fortunate now to keep the friends I have. It’s daunting.
I am lonelier than I’ve ever been. I feel disconnected from people and places that I’ve known. I can’t remember their names. It feels like five years have passed…
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